Guanxi and the Ancient Chinese Art of Relationships
Guanxi and the Ancient Chinese Art of Relationships
By Jared Smith - Incite Solutions Inc.
In 1997 I lived in Nanjing, China working with a wonderful friend and colleague named Yanning Li. It was over the course of my experiences there that I learned about the word Guanxi - meaning "relationships". People seemed to think very highly of this somewhat puzzling word. The phrase, "he has good Guanxi" would inevitably receive significant admiration displayed through a great deal of head nodding and grunts of approval.
At 22, I wasn't very interested in all this Guanxi stuff. I was too busy! Full of anxious energy, I anticipated great success in China. My goals were to establish a presence in China on behalf of six Canadian companies, do some reconnaissance work for the University of Alberta, learn Tai Chi, learn Kun Fu, and learn Chinese. Who had time for "Guanxi"?!!
However, eager to get started along my path of "goal achievement", I was suddenly and profoundly influenced by the real culture of Guanxi in China. It happened while eating dinner with a famous business leader in Nanjing (my friend's Uncle) during the third evening past my arrival. During the course of an 8 hour 12 course meal together, despite great communication difficulties, the two of us became friends for life. I have yet to meet an individual who was as genuinely and unconditionally interested in me, my country, my thoughts, my family, my business and my beliefs.
In the end, I did achieve some of my goals. However these accomplishments could not have been achieved without the wonderful relationships that I developed during my stay in China. Guanxi made all the difference.
This experience, and many others in China, taught me a great deal about Guanxi, and the Ancient Chinese Art of Relationships. Those of you who have experienced success in life will have incorporated some of these very principles into your daily habits with the people you meet.
- Slow down. Be patient. Great relationships take time.
- Be polite. Say thank you. Show respect. Tell people how much you appreciate their investment in you. Write hand written notes. Learn how to do a proper handshake.
- Listen. Look people in the eyes. Show genuine interest. Ask tons of questions. Repeat their answers. Limit how much you talk.
- Don’t judge. Give people a chance. The people you meet will teach you, inspire you and make you grow. Develop relationships with people from all walks of life.
- Forgive. If people have upset you, deal with the issue for the sake of the relationship. Holding a grudge gets you nowhere.
- Apologize. If mistakes have been made, don’t be afraid to offer a sincere apology. Admitting mistakes is a sign of strength, not weakness.
- Stay in touch. Follow up with the relationships you have made. Keep a database of your contacts with a calendar of activities to maintain contact with them.
- Ask for help. People love to help – show some vulnerability and let people in.
- Lose your ego. People don’t want to be around people who make them feel small. Learn to talk the same language and use the same expressions as the people you meet with.
- Have fun. Everyone likes to laugh. Humour is perhaps the most underrated networking technique. After a few sips of Chinese rice wine (baijiu), almost everything seems funny!
